Friday, July 26, 2013

You, Powerful Momma, Deserve a Blessingway!

A couple of my big passions lately are getting Dancing For Birth and Mother Blessings, also known as a Blessingway, known in the birth community here in Arizona..

A Blessingway is a traditional Navajo ceremony celebrating a women's rite of passage into motherhood. I recently read that the Navajo do not approve of the use of the name Blessingway so it has been re-coined Mother Blessing for the "westernized" version. Traditionally a Mother Blessing is a gathering of women only who sit in a circle of empowerment and share blessings and life experiences to help prepare a mother for her own upcoming birth. These gatherings are meant to  spiritually and emotionally uplift the mother-to-be and help her feel supported by her community, or village as I've been feeling moved to say lately.

To me, baby showers are not as powerful. Yes you may get things for the mother to help her prepare for the baby but babies don't really need a lot of things. Let's focus on the mother! This is her journey, her major life experience, let her enjoy that. There are too many pregnancy and birth trauma stories in the world. Dig down deep to your roots, to your powerful, primal inner childbearing woman!

I have seen and heard of a great many variations of just what exactly happens at a Mother Blessing. The main point everyone has said though is that it is so the mother feels loved, supported and pampered. So far I have encountered a few specific themes for Mother Blessings and here they are and some other ideas to get you going:

Dance Circle - Of course this is my favorite and the ones I like to plan the most, especially since I can use my Dancing For Birth training for this. Exactly as it says all the women come together in a circle for dancing just like those primal days when we'd come together and dance naked around the fire just celebrating and enjoying life and that new life is about to come into the world. Generally when I'm asked to put together the Dance Circle I teach some basic movements that are really good for the birthing mother that will help alleviate certain pains and help her be more at ease. of course I teach to the group and we do a Baby Welcoming Dance and I generally choreograph another song and that takes up about 1-2 hours. I aim for happiness and empowerment through dance and try my best to bring that to the mother.

Bead Ceremony - Another really great one and one that I see often because it's simple. Basically a jar of beads is passed around the circle of women and each woman chooses a bead that she feels drawn to for the birthing mother. Once all are chosen it goes around in a circle and everyone states why they chose that bead for the her and give an inspiration or affirmation for the mother and her upcoming birth. Once all the beads are collected they can be loosely put into a bag for the mother to have for her labor as a "little bag of love" I like to call it, strung together in a bracelet, anklet or necklace. Personally I like to string them together as a chord with a pendant on the end to just be able to hold on to or as a barefoot sandal that can be worn during her labor (maybe even while she's dancing through her labor!) The general feeling is that she has each supporting woman in her life "with" her at her birth through these beads, loving and supporting her.

I recently planned one this way for my best friend of ten years, who now lives 2,000 miles away from me, and I did it in a way that all her long distance friends could "attend". I set up a grid of beads took a photo and sent it to everyone and asked them to choose a bead and send a little note that I could print up and send with it. I'm assembling it into a chord and pendant and mailing it to her before her labor so even though we're all apart we're all thinking of her and supporting her.

Chord Ceremony - With all the women in a circle a single piece of string/yarn/ribbon/etc. (generally red, red being a color of power perfect for empowering women through birth) is wound around the wrists of each woman. Each woman ties it around the wrist of the next as they talk of positive things about the mother and inspirations for her birth. All the women wear the chords to remind them of her and send positive energy her way until they hear that the mother is in labor and then cut the chord as a symbol of unity in supporting the mother.

Paint Party - This is where all the women sit together and paint/doodle while telling birth stories and experiences giving empowerment to the mother to be. All the paintings are put together either each individually given to the mother or strung all together. These are particularly amazing for home births to once all be pt together to have a poster sized collage in the mother's birthing space.

Pampering - So this last one it all about giving unto the birthing mother. A lot of these can be done in one Blessing and allows each person to give something to the mother and do something for the mother. Things like at the beginning of the blessing all the women make a crown of flowers for the mother to wear while she's being pampered. Foot massages, painting toenails, shoulder massages, brushing her hair are great things to do for the mother.

Some other fun things to do are Henna. There are many traditions for henna during childbearing if you can find someone who does it or learn to do it yourself it will be a fun experience for all. Belly casting is another great thing. Especially if you paint the cast after it has set, it makes for a beautiful and unique keepsake for the Mother. Lastly one of my favorites is everyone agreeing to light a candle when they hear the mother has gone into labor. It creates the same kind of unity, in my opinion, as the chord ceremony and is a really beautiful sentiment. I know when I light a candle every time I get around it I think of that wonderful scent and then I'm like "Ooo I wonder how she is doing".

Well I think that's everything and I hope I've inspired you to have a Mother Blessing for yourself or for another special woman you may know. Another great thing about Mother Blessings is they're generally pretty low cost, which in today's economy is great! You can inquire about my Mother Blessing services and other specific services that I can refer you to for a Mother Blessing by using the "Contact Form" in the right sidebar.

In Love & Light, Blessed Be.