Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Doula

Hiring a doula has a lot to do with if you "click" but it also has to do with if the doula offers the things you are looking for. It is good to know a lot about your doula and her experience and specialties. It is also highly recommended to interview more then one doula. You need to be 100% comfortable with your choice because this person is going to be right by your side as your family goes through this sacred transition into motherhood. A good doula will not be offended if you would like to interview more doulas or if the feel is not right. She might even be able to point you to a better fit because she understands how important the chemistry is. So don't be afraid to ask. Below are a list of questions that are a good idea to ask at your doula interview. Feel free to add any questions about things that are important to you.

• How Many births have you attended?
• Are you familiar with the Doctor/Midwife/Hospital/Birth Center I will be using? 
• When should I call you? When would you come join me in labor?
• What labor coping techniques do you use or find most helpful?
• How will you involve my partner?
• Why did you decided to become a doula?
• What are your fees and what do they cover? How many visits will we have before and after baby?
• What kind of training have you had?
• Can you explain your contract and your refund policy?
• How many clients do you take on a month?
• Do you have a back up doula? Will I be meeting them?
• Do you have any references?
• What are your beliefs on the birthing process?

Ask the Doula

During consultations and along the pregnancy journey I get asked some really great questions. I wanted to share some of these questions and my personal answers so you get to know more about myself and my practice.

If I were to miscarry, would you still attend the birth if there is one?
A miscarriage is a hard thing to go through and giving birth to your baby in that situation can be heartbreaking and I am honored to still serve you. A beautiful baby is still being born and I feel I am still your labor support. After the birth I will help you find resources, per your request, to help you deal with the loss of your child and, if you wish, arrange a Mother Blessing for your friends and family to come help you heal.

If I choose cord blood banking can I still do delayed cord clamping?
Given some of my research through contacting cord blood banking companies (Viacord and Cord Blood Registry) they prefer to obtain cord blood 60 seconds after the birth. For delayed cord clamping it is suggested to wait at least two minutes. This two minute delay will increase the child's iron reserve by 27-47mg which is helpful in preventing iron deficiencies in baby's first 6 months. Now, the ideal suggestion for delayed cord clamping is to wait until the cord stops pulsating and in my experience can take up to ten minutes. Given that evidence and how much cord blood banking costs I personally would say no. My preference is to delayed cord clamping but I am your Doula and I will get you more information, if you desire, so you can make an informed decision.

What is your opinion on epidurals? I think I am open to the idea if I feel I need it but I am unsure and want to strive for my birth to be as natural as possible.
As we go over your birth plan if you are open to pain relief during labor, that is your choice. I am not here to push my personal choices and preferences on you, I will provide you with my side of the argument as well as the opposing argument so that you may make an informed decision that you are going to be happy with. Sometimes it is necessary for you to allow yourself that relief if you need it and there can be many different reasons why you choose to accept an epidural (i.e. long labor, pitocin induced contractions etc). As your Doula I am not there to tell your doctor "She said in her birth plan she doesn't want that." I can however gently remind you of your birth plan and  to take a minute to think about your choices and what you would like to do moving forward.

My partner is really interested in a Doula to help him know what is going on and what he can do to help during the birth, is that something you do?
Yes! During your prenatal visits we'll go over  pain coping techniques with partner assistance so you both have valuable tools for labor. If you or your partner ever have questions prenatally and during labor and delivery you are more than welcome to ask and if I don't know the answer I likely know someone who does and will get that answer for you. If your partner is open to it or asks "What can I do to help?" there is always something to do and I'm happy to give you what I'm doing if you like or give you something helpful to do :-) I am also there for the little "Hey can you help me by... moments."

What if I don't like something you're doing or think I might want you to try something else?
Our relationship is all about open communication. I am going to use my skills to try and help you any way I know how. If it's not helping, tell me so! I promise not to be hurt or offended. If you have an idea of what you think might help I'm happy to help get you to that space/position. If all you can do is describe what or where the pain is we'll work together through many positions to find out what works best for you.

Have Questions? Use the Contact Me form to the right to ask and/or set up a consultation for us to meet and discuss what I can do for you!

Dear Kelli Ward, I Am A Well Educated Birthing Woman and I Will Be Heard

As a well educated birthing woman, I know I would choose a MIDWIFE to attend my breech birth over any OB. Even families I know who would not have a home birth and would always choose birthing in a hospital have said it is not for the government to take away a woman's right to choose where and with whom she feels safest to birth.

In my personal experience, Midwives know and will say when they believe a transfer of care is necessary but will also truly care about the woman's position an innate wisdom of what is going on in her birth and where she'd rather be. An OB just pressures a woman and scares her into doing what the OB wants by providing false evidence that appears to be real and relevant (which is what I say you are doing by providing your one-sided statistics). I am SO sick and tired of hearing Midwives say that their hands are tied by the law and that they have to transfer care, not because they are incapable of providing the quality care that's needed but because the government says so. I met with many OBs that plainly said that they did not know how to deliver a breech baby other than by cesarean but every Midwife I asked had dedicated the time to educating themselves on vaginal breech birth. It is my body, it is my baby and it is my right to choose.

Kelli Ward is sponsoring the bill SB1157 "to prevent vaginal births after c-section (VBAC) and breech births from being considered low risk in AZ.", which would mean a woman could not birth at home with a Midwife, and is looking for your input! Let her know we are here and will be heard. It is our body, our birth and our right to decide where and with whom we entrust our birth. Provide facts if you can!

Post by Kelli Ward for Arizona *

*In the time it has taken me to talk to people, cite my sources, voice my opinion and write this blog (approximately 2 hours) the post on the Kelli Ward for Arizona Facebook page has been deleted. Apparently she only wants your input if you are on her side. So here are some screenshots:

In this post Kelli Ward states; "The reporting on home births has been spotty and poor despite rules and regulations requiring reporting - right now, AZ statistics report a little over 400 "low risk" home births with 15 infant deaths. Until we improve the data coming in and see if there are better stats, it is prudent to limit scope of practice of lay midwives to truly low risk home births."



Included in these 15 deaths were a few deaths that where due to life limiting chromosomal abnormalities diagnosed before birth. From the Birth Without Fear Blog "Breech Birth Statistics" post "The perinatal mortality rate does increase with breech presentation, but that is REGARDLESS OF THE TYPE OF BIRTH! The increased death rate is due to malformations already present, prematurity and intrauterine fetal demise!" Also there is debate on the issue being incoming data but rather it is the Health Department not properly dealing with, sorting and reporting the statistics.




On Kelli Ward's Issues page located HERE, I quote "Dr. Kelli Ward believes in personal responsibility, limited government intervention in the day-to-day lives of our citizens...". It also states she is Pro-Life, Pro-Family and Pro-FREEDOM.
Do I sense a bit of Hypocrisy? Is this not a Pro-Family and Pro-Freedom issue?

Kelli Ward claims she is a case of successful case of a hospital VBAC. Congratulations, Kelli! I love to hear stories like that. It gives me hope for more women to have successful hospital VBACs. A woman also asked on her post how would Kelli feel if her right to choose where she felt safest to VBAC was taken away. Well, Kelli?

Kelli Ward, are you not a representative of the people? Why would you silence and remove a debate, from your people, against your bill? Did we strike a nerve? Are you just a lying, hypocritical politician like the rest of them?

For those of you who can not click the links I created:

Kelli Ward for Arizona Facebook Page
http://www.facebook.com/KelliWardforArizona

Birth Without Fear "Breech Birth Statistics" Blog Post
http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/09/06/breech-birth-statistics/

Kelli Wards Issues Page
http://kelliward.net/page.php?t=issues

For those that would like to be kept informed and join our discussions:
Arizona's Rights for Homebirth Facebook Group
http://www.facebook.com/groups/256480614406716/

You, Powerful Momma, Deserve a Blessingway!

A couple of my big passions lately are getting Dancing For Birth and Mother Blessings, also known as a Blessingway, known in the birth community here in Arizona..

A Blessingway is a traditional Navajo ceremony celebrating a women's rite of passage into motherhood. I recently read that the Navajo do not approve of the use of the name Blessingway so it has been re-coined Mother Blessing for the "westernized" version. Traditionally a Mother Blessing is a gathering of women only who sit in a circle of empowerment and share blessings and life experiences to help prepare a mother for her own upcoming birth. These gatherings are meant to  spiritually and emotionally uplift the mother-to-be and help her feel supported by her community, or village as I've been feeling moved to say lately.

To me, baby showers are not as powerful. Yes you may get things for the mother to help her prepare for the baby but babies don't really need a lot of things. Let's focus on the mother! This is her journey, her major life experience, let her enjoy that. There are too many pregnancy and birth trauma stories in the world. Dig down deep to your roots, to your powerful, primal inner childbearing woman!

I have seen and heard of a great many variations of just what exactly happens at a Mother Blessing. The main point everyone has said though is that it is so the mother feels loved, supported and pampered. So far I have encountered a few specific themes for Mother Blessings and here they are and some other ideas to get you going:

Dance Circle - Of course this is my favorite and the ones I like to plan the most, especially since I can use my Dancing For Birth training for this. Exactly as it says all the women come together in a circle for dancing just like those primal days when we'd come together and dance naked around the fire just celebrating and enjoying life and that new life is about to come into the world. Generally when I'm asked to put together the Dance Circle I teach some basic movements that are really good for the birthing mother that will help alleviate certain pains and help her be more at ease. of course I teach to the group and we do a Baby Welcoming Dance and I generally choreograph another song and that takes up about 1-2 hours. I aim for happiness and empowerment through dance and try my best to bring that to the mother.

Bead Ceremony - Another really great one and one that I see often because it's simple. Basically a jar of beads is passed around the circle of women and each woman chooses a bead that she feels drawn to for the birthing mother. Once all are chosen it goes around in a circle and everyone states why they chose that bead for the her and give an inspiration or affirmation for the mother and her upcoming birth. Once all the beads are collected they can be loosely put into a bag for the mother to have for her labor as a "little bag of love" I like to call it, strung together in a bracelet, anklet or necklace. Personally I like to string them together as a chord with a pendant on the end to just be able to hold on to or as a barefoot sandal that can be worn during her labor (maybe even while she's dancing through her labor!) The general feeling is that she has each supporting woman in her life "with" her at her birth through these beads, loving and supporting her.

I recently planned one this way for my best friend of ten years, who now lives 2,000 miles away from me, and I did it in a way that all her long distance friends could "attend". I set up a grid of beads took a photo and sent it to everyone and asked them to choose a bead and send a little note that I could print up and send with it. I'm assembling it into a chord and pendant and mailing it to her before her labor so even though we're all apart we're all thinking of her and supporting her.

Chord Ceremony - With all the women in a circle a single piece of string/yarn/ribbon/etc. (generally red, red being a color of power perfect for empowering women through birth) is wound around the wrists of each woman. Each woman ties it around the wrist of the next as they talk of positive things about the mother and inspirations for her birth. All the women wear the chords to remind them of her and send positive energy her way until they hear that the mother is in labor and then cut the chord as a symbol of unity in supporting the mother.

Paint Party - This is where all the women sit together and paint/doodle while telling birth stories and experiences giving empowerment to the mother to be. All the paintings are put together either each individually given to the mother or strung all together. These are particularly amazing for home births to once all be pt together to have a poster sized collage in the mother's birthing space.

Pampering - So this last one it all about giving unto the birthing mother. A lot of these can be done in one Blessing and allows each person to give something to the mother and do something for the mother. Things like at the beginning of the blessing all the women make a crown of flowers for the mother to wear while she's being pampered. Foot massages, painting toenails, shoulder massages, brushing her hair are great things to do for the mother.

Some other fun things to do are Henna. There are many traditions for henna during childbearing if you can find someone who does it or learn to do it yourself it will be a fun experience for all. Belly casting is another great thing. Especially if you paint the cast after it has set, it makes for a beautiful and unique keepsake for the Mother. Lastly one of my favorites is everyone agreeing to light a candle when they hear the mother has gone into labor. It creates the same kind of unity, in my opinion, as the chord ceremony and is a really beautiful sentiment. I know when I light a candle every time I get around it I think of that wonderful scent and then I'm like "Ooo I wonder how she is doing".

Well I think that's everything and I hope I've inspired you to have a Mother Blessing for yourself or for another special woman you may know. Another great thing about Mother Blessings is they're generally pretty low cost, which in today's economy is great! You can inquire about my Mother Blessing services and other specific services that I can refer you to for a Mother Blessing by using the "Contact Form" in the right sidebar.

In Love & Light, Blessed Be.

UNICEF At Work!

I recently stumbled upon The Golden Bow as UNICEF's symbol for the protection, promotion and support of breastfeeding. I definitely went searching for a ribbon as opposed to a bow when my fiancee first suggested I find something to symbolize my passion for promoting breastfeeding. Instead I found a bow and there is actually a specific reason for the choice of using a bow. UNICEF has given a special message to each part of the bow and every part is crucial to it's make up. So what exactly is the reasoning behind The Golden Bow?

Gold:
Gold being used to show that breastfeeding is the "gold" standard for infant feeding and that all other forms of infant feeding should be judged against breastfeeding instead of the opposite which has sadly become the social norm where more parents are preparing to buy and stock up on infant formula in preparation for the birth of their children instead of educating and preparing themselves for breastfeeding.

The Bow:
One loop represents the Mother.

The other loop represents the Child.

The ribbon itself is symmetrical representing that both Mother and Child are crucial to the successful breastfeeding relationship.

The knot represents the Father, the Family and Society. Without the knot there can be no bow, without support breastfeeding cannot be successful.

UNICEF states that the ribbons are the future: the exclusive breastfeeding for six months, and continued breastfeeding for 2 years or more with appropriate complementary feeding, and the delay of the next birth, preferably for 3 years or more, to give the mother and child time together to recover and to grow, respectively, and to five the mother the time she needs to provide active care for the health, growth and development of this child.

The exclusive origins of the symbolism are not directly known the use of The Golden Bow has been in scattered use for 8-10 years. However UNICEF is proud to launch this symbol and educational campaign. Wear it proudly and educate everyone who inquires about its symbolism and many meanings.